Shit! I Just Spilled Wine on My Computer!

by Brandon Wainscott

So it finally happened. I spilled wine on my laptop. Well, so far, so good. A bit sticky, but given it was that sticky, cough medicine like port, I suppose that is to be expected, even with the cleaning. I'll give it another good wipe after this. But assuming your computer has not already fried out, in which case you are screwed, some ways to save your computer.

1. Shut it down. 
2. With a towel quickly get all the liquid off. This needs to be done as quickly as possible of course.
3.  Once you have gotten all the actual wine of get a dry paper dowel and wipe down the keyboard and in between the keys. Get any wine or wine residue that you see. 
4. Turn the computer upside down for a moment. 
5. This step is made with a disclaimer. You do this at your own risk. With a baby wipe or wet wipe, wipe down the computer, including the keyboard. On the keyboard be extra gentle of course, as well as on the mouse. You may have to do this a few times. Try wiping in circular motions. Then dry with a paper towel.
6. Then turn your computer back on and hope there are no problems. 

Of course if something does go wrong, and you have warranty that covers such accidents, you're good, except for the trouble of the lost files and having to wait for a replacement. But hopefully this helped.  That's why it is good to always back up your files. If you're nervous like me about someone reading them, or seeing certain photos (wink, wink), you can encrypt files, even folders, and they will remain encrypted when they are backed up. Word files, Excel files, etc. allow you to encrypt in the software, and there are programs you can buy to add even better encrypt them. A simple, free method of encrypting whole folders can be found here, though it is easy to get through the encrypted file if you have some very basic knowledge of these things. I actually mention the encryption, not so you can hide bad things (though you can!), but your important files, such as for business, that great novel you plan on publishing, etc. Backing them up, or putting them on a jump drive, exposes them to being opened by whoever might find or use the jump drive. Just think identity theft is some of them are business files. Decent encryption is a good idea, as is backing up files in general. Then if you spill wine on your computer, you are good if the above methods fail. Cheers!

Finally Tried Escargot

by Brandon Wainscott

Actually had escargot once in Wisconsin when I was up there considering the Catholic clergy. That went pretty well. I became fond of a couple girls in the parish, one being the girl all the guys fell in love with, including the guys considering the priesthood. Not so much that they necessarily gave up their clerical aspirations, though I think it did for those not called to the life of celibacy. Now that I am considering Eastern Orthodoxy, which has married clergy, that's not a problem. Except I do not want to be a priest. Maybe a deacon or something of the lower clergy, but I don't feel I have the capabilities to be a priest--it's a lot of devotion, and a great duty. In any case one of the priests up in Wisconsin and I were taken to a nice restaurant by the rich patron of the parish who pretty much helped with the beautiful restoration, shown here for all my self-proclaimed sophisticated readers who love the church art I am sure:

In any case we had escargot a la bourguignonne, which I remember to have liked. Actually, from what I remember there did not seem to be much of a taste, other than the butter, which perhaps masked the underlying flavour of the actual snails. Which is what my problem was with my recipe last night. I had no shells, so escargot a la bourguignonne was out of the question. So I cooked them with some sausage in a spicy red sauce, my own concoction. And I am afraid I did not like the escargot.

They were small snails, from Burgundy, as opposed to the large ones. They had a rather fishy taste, which is something I always found hard as a Catholic on Fridays. Technically I am still a Catholic, but I am strongly considering Orthodoxy, so it's a bit of confusing time. Of course I usually just ate vegetables. I hate the fishy taste. It makes me gag, a reflex. I think part of it is genetic, and part of it that I never grew up eating fish. I was pick. My diet was mostly McDonald's chicken nuggets with the skin pilled off, and biscuits and gravy. In any case the taste of the snails was musky and fishy. So I ask my more cultured readers: Are large escargots less musky or fishy? And does the escargot a la bourguignonne recipe allow that to be drowned out by the butter? The escargot a la bourguignonne seems really good with a glass of wine. But without the butter, at least the small ones, seem way too fishy for my uncultured tongue. Almost like anchovies. Perhaps someone can enlighten me. It would really be nice to enjoy this wine lover's delight.

In any case, I have not had much to write about of late. I might start doing to recipes to make up for the lack of material. I am making goose for Christmas. Not sure exactly how I am going to do it though--Port and plums are involved. I guess the recipe will come after Christmas--so much for the Christmas goose.
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Cleaning Wine Glasses

by Brandon Wainscott

A quick little post to get something in since I have not posted in over a week. How should you clean wine glasses? The answer would seem to be put them in the dishwasher and if you do so I would remind everyone to be careful on how you load them as they can be broken in the chaos. But really the dishwasher is not the best method, nor soap at all. Simply use water and then dry them off with a clean towel. Why? Because I read that it can take up to ten washes to get the soap completely off. And what does soap left on there mean? Well an effect on taste and aroma of course! It really makes sense and since reading that I have stopped using soap. The only time you should use soap IMHO is if they have been sitting for a long time. I had some champagne flutes that had collected some nasty stuff on the inside and I decided to use soap. Also if uncooked meat touches them it is a MUST of course. Say you are cooking and enjoying a glass of wine as you do so and the raw steak rubs against the glass. You would want to wash them well with soap and water. Otherwise simply wash with water. Here's my method:

1) With very hot water wash the inside and outside of the glass, stem and all. 

2) Dry with a clean dish towel or rag. When dry check to see if any wine or water spots are left. If there is anything still on the glass repeat as required. Sometimes it take two or three times to get the glass clean. Be sure to wash the rim of the glass, too, of course.

HINT: With the dish towel an easy and effective method of drying is to stuff some of the towel inside the glass and keep turning it around until the inside is dry. This makes sure the whole inside is dry and helps prevent water spots.

Review: Korbel California Champagne Brut

SCORE: 83
by Brandon Wainscott

AROMA: Citrus, Apple

TASTE: The taste is rather simple but enjoyable. Mostly all that is tasted is apple but despite this simplicity the champagne/sparkling wine is enjoyable.

OVERALL:  The sparkling wine is not badly made but simple. All there really is, is apple, a cider sort of taste but with a crisp pleasantness. Given the price range it scores 83.

REVIEW:  While not fine wine it does make for a cheap buy for that pre-dinner glass when you have company or a New Years celebration when you cannot afford or do not desire to pay the price for a bottle of Dom Perignon. Not excellent by any means, but a very drinkable glass. Despite this drinkablity I have had the brand in the past and it has been better. So taking it's price into consideration I would give it an 83.

PRICE:  $13-$14 (US)

COUNTRY:  United States

REGION: California

APPELLATION: California

VINTAGE: NONE

GRAPE: Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc, French  Colombard, Pinot Noir

Storing Partially Drank Wine

by Brandon Wainscott

So a little bit about myself. I am 28 years old and live in my mother's basement. Actually there is no basement but you get the point. The reason is I have to. I am epileptic and my neurologist does not think it ideal for me to live alone as I have had two cases of status epileticus, seizures that last over five minutes and do not stop, or stopping, begin again. They can be fatal and therefore need emergency treatment unlike most seizures--anyone who has no history of seizures, or is not believed to should, go to the hospital but epileptics normally do not go to the hospital every time unless it is serious, like status epilepticus. Besides, I am in school so it is convenient. So my mommy is going to take me out to get some wine because of course my license have been suspended--not for drinking wine and driving, but for seizures. Yeah, it really does suck. And not until one in the morning. Yeah that's late to open up a bottle of wine but I am a night owl and this vampire does drink...wine. Besides I have an early day tomorrow and need a nightcap.

So I do not think I will finish the bottle. So what to do? Well my trick is to put it, whether red or white, in the fridge because it slows down deterioration. Then the next day, right before you are ready to drink it, take it out and in an ice bucket like the one you chill wine in. Put lukewarm water in it and bring the bottle proper temperature. That's room temperature for red and 45-55 degrees (Fahrenheit) for white.

Why bring the white down after taking it out? Because the refrigerator is too cold and the positive aromas and taste are lost just like they are in a wine too warm. It also helps to use a vacuum pump if you have one to remove the air from the bottle but the wine should keep for one night without much of a problem. For really cheap wines it usually does not matter if you drink the white too cold but red wine that is cold will be unpleasant. How long to warm the wine will vary based on factors. It's like chilling. You just keep checking by touching the bottle with the BACK of your hand, not because it's hot, but because the back of the hand is more accurate in judging than the front. It's the same rule of thumb as in chilling A degree or two a minute so check a red every ten minutes and a white the same, which will of course take lesser time since you are only bringing it down a little.

Of course if you just want to get drunk then you wasted your time reading this! Cheers then and remember to recycle! A good deed makes up for a bad deed, so recycle to repair the sin of drunkenness.

On second thought, as a final note, I might just get a half pint of scotch and a bottle of champagne for tomorrow which is a special day for a special lady of my heart, Patricia with her starry eyes. They say Don Perignon said of his new creation (sparkling wine), "I have tasted the stars." Patricia, my lady, who is like Dante's Beatrice, I drink your starry eyes in an act of amorous cannibalism (think Christian communion act where the body of Christ is eaten). In Dante's first sonnet of La Vita Nuova, Beatrice eats Dante's heart, an allegory perhaps of Christian communion, but also representing the fact that Beatrice will die, because after eating the heart, she ascends to heaven. I shall drink the stars and commune with my lady through the wine tomorrow.

The blood eyes of Christ Patricia.

Film Review: Haute Cuisine

by Brandon Wainscott

This film, which I watched a month or so ago, is in French, something I myself always love. Foreign films, despite having to read watching a movie, often are hidden little jewels. After watching Mads Mikkelsen pull off an interesting Hannibal Lecter in NBCs series, I was glad to see a couple films with the Danish actor in his own language. The Hunt showed the other side of the oft over-dramatic Law and Order: SVU hammer-of-perverts crime show; for in The Hunt a man is falsely accused of molesting a young girl, having to live through the hell of being seen as a pervert. And then Mikkelsen does a wonderful job in the historical drama, A Royal Affair, a rather overly preachy movie glorifying the French Revolution, but wonderfully acted with the sexy Alicia Vikander as the king's wife, Caroline and the talented Mikkel Boe Følsgaard playing the weak, mentally ill King Christian VII. Mikkelsen leaves the sociopathic Hannibal Lecter for a compassionate doctor and libertine. And thus my praise of foreign film. Today, and as all future reviews, I am reviewing a film related to the subject of this blog, food and wine. The film is Haute Cuisine, which is called in the original French: Les saveurs du Palais.  It stars and elegant Catherine Frot as the president's personal chef and Jean d'Ormesson as the president himself. 

The English title is somewhat unfavourable. The whole film is about why French food should not be haughty after all, but the English title is not the fault of the makers of the film since they titled it, if it were translated directly: The Flavours of the Palace. Miss Frot plays Madame Hortense Laborie, a sort of foodie, elegant yet unaffected. When the film begins she is living in the country managing a farm to satisfy her love of good food, hunting truffles and raising livestock. She is then approached by a government official, taken in a humorous journey to Paris where she has little idea of the purpose. There she is told she will be personal chef to the president. 

She quickly comes head to head with the head chef of the kitchen who seems to be angry that a woman with no formal training is allowed there and is now the president's personal chef. She herself is in another kitchen, generally free from him, and she quickly imposes her beliefs against the usual rules. However, the president, played charmingly by Jean d'Ormesson, shares her views of food, liking that which that lacks the haughtiness of Parisian cuisine, preferring like her, what we Americans would call down home cooking. To the normal American the food  is certainly high class, but though there is indeed an elegance to it, the idea is simplicity--fresh, high quality ingredients skillfully made without pretentiousness. The president explains he is growing tired of all the fancy dishes arranged more for their art than their love. Indeed in the end we see that is how she makes her food--with love, like a mother.

In fact, to show this, the film is really flashbacks to her days working at the state palace in France because when the film begins she is in Antartica at a French settlement. She is shown to be a woman that has become a mother to all the workers there. They have come to enjoy the cuisine she has made with love. Thus there is a moving goodbye to her as she goes back to France and elsewhere in the world to hunt for truffles.

So the film is not about haughty, or as haute is transliterated, high cuisine. It is about the opposite. It is what Julia Child wanted us to see about French cooking. Thus the English title is really unfitting,  though I suppose it does work to draw a person to the film. I would not have been as quick to watch it on Netflix if it had been called "The Flavours of the Palace". 

 I will give it the same score I gave it on Netflix: five out of five stars for "loved it". 

Review: Yellow Tail Big Bold Red

SCORE: 85

by Brandon Lee Wainscott

AROMA: Plastic pool smell, floral notes, fruit, fresh grass, slight alcohol.

TASTE: Spicy, strawberries, dark cherry, leather.

OVERALL: The wine has a pool-like smell with floral notes which are followed by what seems to be fresh cut grass. There is also fruit, perhaps strawberry and cherry. On the mouth there is nice spice with the strawberries which seem to open up to cherries later on. The wine finishes medium dry. There is a pleasant bitterness on the finish, but also the strawberry, which in the aftertaste seems artificial. However, this seems to go away once the wine opens up. So, with this, the wine deserves a middle ground of an 85 score. Though tempting to give it an 84 for its faults, given the price, it seems merciful to give it an 85.

REVIEW: I bought this inexpensive wine because Julia Child suggested a California Mountain Red if one did not buy the namesake French wine for her famous boeuf bourguinon. This is the Australian version of the California red. I was actually quite satisfied, especially once the wine opened up. It is young and lacks the sophistication of its French counterpart in Burgundy, but when opened up it is rather good, great for its price. It could sell for twice it's $7.00 price. I had this with Cornish hen cooked in a crock pot with curry and other spices. It paired even better with food so it is certainly a good wine for a casual dinner.

PRICE:  $7 (US)

COUNTRY:  Australia

REGION: Southeast

APPELLATION:  N/A

VINTAGE:  NONE

GRAPE:  Not given by winemaker.